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THE LOLZ

Keen Masturbator Spikes Own Drink With Date-Rape

This is actually true. We have written the article below so you can read it.

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A man who describes himself as a ‘passionate masturbator’ has admitted that he spiked his own drink with the drug Rohypnol on a night out in order to ‘have his way with himself’.

The man told police he deliberately set out to prey on his own company, by slipping the potent sedative pill into his vodka and tonic while he wasn’t looking. He said his plan from the offset was to take advantage of himself while his defences were down.

“I was really on the hunt for some self-abuse”, the man said. “And when I saw this hottie bit of hand leaning on the bar, I slipped myself a Roofie, and the next thing I know I was taking myself back to my place”.

The police have described the man as one of several predatory masturbators currently operating around the inner city Sydney.

“In fact, it’s fair to say that most bars in Sydney are full of wankers”, a police spokesperson said.

 

 

Keen Masturbator Spikes Own Drink With Date-Rape
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