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THE LOLZ

Man Breaks Record For World’s Longest Line

Kieran McVeigh of Glasgow has absolutely smashed a Guinness Record for world’s longest line of cocaine.

Former record holder, Jose Manuel Gonzales from Columbia commended the new world champion “I held the record for 24 years when I broke it in 1992. I tell you, 4.2 meters is a lot to sniff. So Kieran’s 4.5 is truly something!”

However, there was some controversy over the new world record. Challenger, Nunez Rodriguez from Bolivia had this to say, “The rules need adjustment. Currently, record challengers can use cocaine from their home country. I’ve never been to Glasgow, but I can assure you it’s not as potent as the stuff from Bolivia. This makes it an unfair challenge”.

Challengers are given one hour to complete a line which must measure a minimum of 3cm in width and 1cm in height. The length is up to them. Kieran’s 4.5m line weighs the equivalent of about 3oz (84 grams).

After Kieran was announced as the new record holder, Nunez invited him to Bolivia to “battle it out” under “real conditions”.

We caught up with Kieran after the event.

“Buzzin’ mate. Absolutely buzzin! Literally. Can’t believe all my years of getting on the bags and training has paid off! Top day, top gear, love it! And yeah, I’ll go Bolivia and show Nunez how it’s done!”

Kieran plans to take a trip to Bolivia in the next few months.

Man Breaks Record For World’s Longest Line
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